:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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