How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
