My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
