i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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