i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
