I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
