I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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