he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
