Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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