I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
