I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think people are normalizing furries
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
