But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
