he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
