I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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