im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
