I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
