i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
