It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
