so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
