even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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