Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
