My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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