i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
