4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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