there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize