true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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