im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
