I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
