it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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