if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
