he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
