Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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