Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize