I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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