I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize