someone get that fucking seahorse.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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