I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize