they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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