i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize