I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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