I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
