Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
