Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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