Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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