Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
