How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
