Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
