i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
