I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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