Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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