you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
