I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
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