I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
