The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
