Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
